~deep in thoughts~

i think this is karma. T_T totaly im crying from inside to outside. Dear God, only you can heal this wound. huhuhuhuhu.... man cannot be trusted~~ sometimes they r the apple of the eye, but sometimes they are the the one who will break ur heart into milion pieces. This year i got two broken hearts.

1st~~~ one who cares about the looks n not the heart!!! cannot accept this kind of situation. He told me he want me to slim down if not he will leave me!!what kind of person is that??? he's not that cute, not that handsome,not that tall, but still.. want to demand more???? hahhahha..man like that can go to hell! stay rotten in there!! let him be with those pretty n slim ladies. hahhaa... i want to see who will love him for who he am or just for what he can supply (moneyof cozzz) hahhahhahahhah... it's okay.. i got my own carrer,my own life to move on.

2nd~~ one who cares for his frend a lot better than his own girl. the question is,... will his beloved frend be there for him if he is in deep n imean very deep problem??? does his fren wash his laundy?? will his frend cook, be patience,and tolerate all his bad manners without feeling any disgust???

im so not into guys now. can i be back to my old self??? im trying to change to be a better person,but God I cannot handle any of this.

My only way to keep my head straight is to keep on pretending that i'm happy. Im sick n tired of pretending...but for the sake of life... i must try.

i'm crying a lot..i've cried all my life. when will hapiness be there to pick me up??? am i destinied to have a misrable n lonely life????